By itself, the term “self care” seems indulgent. Selfish. Not caring of others. But this is usually pretty far from the truth. Self care has been getting a lot of attention recently, as 2020 continues to be a ridiculously difficult year. But for therapists, we have been talking to clients about the term self care for a long time. Basically, the idea is that if your life is busy – especially if you give a lot of your time, effort, and energy to other people – it becomes especially critical to take care of yourself as well. This may look like taking 40 minutes to watch your favorite show every so often. Or maybe get yourself a manicure or pedicure once a month. Maybe it means treating yourself to your favorite coffee drink once a week. Or allowing yourself an evening walk on the beach after a long week of work. Everyone is different, so you would need to experiment with what works for you. For me, I love the opportunity to catch up with an old friend, get a rare massage, or watch a huge game of football/basketball/baseball/tennis/any sport! When I do these things, I take care of what’s important and enjoyable to me.
“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”
– Mandy Hale
Now, if someone were to spend all day, everyday, “taking care of themselves,” enjoying fun activities, that’s not exactly self care. That would be spoiling yourself selfishly. But if you give of yourself a lot, it’s very important that you take time for what you love. I think this is especially true here in 2020. When you engage in self care, you might want to put your phone away. Distractions can ruin the moment. Just be present in the moment and enjoy.
When we take care of ourselves, we are better able to be present for other things in life. So if you want to be a better parent, friend, employee, family member, whatever your role in life is right now…take care of you. You will perform better in your role if you learn how to de-stress, relax, and enjoy the little things in life. Do something small you enjoy today. Do something bigger you enjoy this week. And then maybe plan ahead for an even bigger thing this month or later this year. You’ll be happy you did. And so will everyone else in your life.
